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Mid-life epiphany.

Today, I had teeny tiny epiphany, one that helps enlighten people who don’t understand what mid-life is like and may perhaps make fun of it through stereotypical memes like “Over the hill” .

I’m not immune, I’ve secretly cackled at friends’ mid-life decisions, because they’re obvious choices, but I’ve since backed down on that point of view because it happened to me. I see their choices as absolutely sane and expected now.

There really is a mid-life crisis that every person seems to face, small or large but it’s there, waiting for you. And I can’t warn you about it either. It’s just a part of you, and it will happen in some form, just like puberty. So my best advice is to enjoy every minute of your life NOW because, as my  favorite cliche goes: “You are never promised tomorrow”.

I am 47, I look 47 (?), I don’t feel 47,  I feel 33. Why 33 and not 30? I knew who I was at 33,  30 was a still a bit of a mess, it took a couple years to get my bearings.

This mid-life crisis hits you when you look in the mirror that one time in your 40’s. Remember that moment?

That damn mirror, that’s always been gracious to you, along with genes that kept you looking younger than your peers, cracks into a million pieces because it cannot stand the sight of your weathered aging face.

Mid life is when your face truly falls.

Everything was okay up until that point. Your most precious asset, which the world relies on for communication, up and falls into this dried up, wrinkled version of what was once a youthful gaze and outlook.

Mid-life is when you can’t hide your age any longer. How crushing is that? Not just on a physical level, but philosophically as well.

Using the cliche “Over the Hill”, when you’re young, you see age and time as a hill upward. You climb it, you have a family, you work hard, you get higher up and then there it is, behold! The sparkling vista you were promised each day you had to climb and wipe sweat from your brow.

You can now see the entire valley before you in all its splendor. You puff up your chest from pride, but what’s that in the distance?

You can also see the fucking end of the god damn road.

THAT is why people freak the fuck out and buy sports cars, or quit jobs, get younger spouses, or go into depressions.  They see the end is now foreboding and clear as day.

My current mid-life crisis is as complicated as the next person’s. I can’t iron it out over one blog post.

I have so much positive energy in my life at the moment.  For instance, I’m working  right now, building an amazing non profit company, a slow and arduous process, but sometimes, everything I’m doing feels useless because that mirror keeps telling me I don’t matter any more to the world.

Call it depression, but I can consciously argue with that point of view my brain likes to throw at me, so I wouldn’t call it a classic depression. It’s more like I’m debating with the truth.

Society does level off the importance of people in their mid-life. For example: Advertisements for product A go from ‘buy this because you’ll have fun and be the life of the party’, to “buy Product B because you’ll need this to look like someone who wants Product A”.

The trick is to ignore that fucking twerp of a voice and keep trudging forward.

You have to remember that invisibility has two sides. You may be invisible to others, but that means YOU’RE INVISIBLE! Sneak in and make your mark. Keep plowing those fields, virtual or real, because life is about finding purpose and making the most of it.

Don’t stop planting ideas and passions because your eyes got crinkly and your hair can’t decide if it’s grey or brown today.

The universe needs you here to kick ass and take names.