Category: Screenwriting

Posted on

Grieving with Cookies.

 

My Aunt Pat (left) and my Uncle Bill (right).

 

Shoving cookies, one after the other, into my gaping maw hasn’t helped.

Watching endless hours of television and films hasn’t helped.

The methods I’ve chosen to grieve just aren’t working.

You see, I’m a private person, (no one reads this thing) and my Aunt died a few days ago. She was the oldest of 4 sisters, my mother being the youngest.

I haven’t told anyone but my Dad and my business partner because I just don’t feel like sharing her life or my grief on Facebook or Twitter. She was more than a solicitous quickly drawn paragraph for responses. And she was so much more than an ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’ to me. That’s just my style, no offense to those that reach out, which is a normal thing to do.

She started out as the Aunt I knew relatively nothing about. We lived in a different state when I was growing up, so my visits were relegated to holidays.

When I was 33, I had made a career change, to spend focused time on my screenwriting by moving AWAY from Los Angeles. It was a good decision at the time and my Aunt invited me to stay with her until I felt settled in Dallas. She brought me into her family like I was one of her kids, even though we were blood strangers.

It was awkward at first because we really didn’t know each other but after a month or two, I realized, from an interests point of view, I was looking at a damn mirror of myself. This woman loved science fiction and indulged me in multiple what-if conversations and movies nights and as I began working on some of my first screenplays in her house. Her addiction to the Law and Order franchise of shows leaked into my interest pile and I started watching them with her. Every time I walked into the room, that show, whether it was SVU or Criminal Intent or L & O, was on the television.

It started with me catching a few minutes of the show as I headed for the kitchen, which then turned into a scene, then more, then an entire episode…and pretty soon we were watching all the shows, all the time. That time with her and those shows inspired my first feature screenplay. And because writing for me was and is a deep and personal activity, she became a woven part of that treasured memory.

Not many people reach my core, but she was one of them.

And I don’t know how to move forward.

With the pandemic, time is elongated because the funeral homes are over-burdened. Thinking about the morbid details of her waiting to be sent to the great beyond give me anxiety.

There’s no one to talk to about this, and to those that I have, it’s been a miniscule admission of detail.

I can’t work, I can’t concentrate, the cries come in spurts because my love for her was buried deep and strongly attached to the center. I visualize letting her go like digging for a silver chain that’s been growing under a giant redwood for a century.

I am so very grateful I could see her a day or so before she left this planet. With her kids, and another nephew, we had all come together to coordinate the delivery of an electric chair that would help her stand up and lay down because she needed to be able to sleep in it. I texted her the next day and she told me how well she had slept that night. If you knew her, you’d know why that was key and how hard sleep was to come by.

On that day, we talked about Christmas, which had come late because of the pandemic and her recent hospital visit. She tried a few times to order my Christmas present and if you knew her, you’d know how difficult that could be. I said to not worry about it and concentrate on feeling better. It wasn’t important, it was just a material thing. I wanted her comfortable and safe.

Apparently the stars aligned for her and she did get that order in because my cousin delivered that material thing and that’s the only time I’ve lost myself in tears in public thus far. I can’t even part with the box it came in. I knew the struggle involved to coordinate ordering the item and to see it sitting there on my counter said she loved me and that’s all I really needed anyway.

I will miss her deeply.

 

Posted on

Top Five Moments as a Production Assistant aka Gopher

One of my most loved and used pieces of advice when talking to new writers is to get out and actually make a film before you attempt to write one.

Is it mandatory? No. Will it improve your writing? Yes, in folds.

But with the folding comes delight, terror, and humor. Here are my top five memories of working in the infomercial world.

Grand Theft Parsons
Grand Theft Parsons – 2002

1) Day One

During the fall – spring season, I worked at an Orange County based repertory theater. But summer was always a fight to pay the rent, so when I stumbled upon a production company hiring P.A.s, I applied for the job because I knew someday I was headed to L.A. and the experience would be worth its weight in Oscar statues.  I was very excited to get the position because once I met my co-workers, I realized I was the only female P.A.. Power fist!

After a few days of doing paperwork I didn’t understand (call sheets, etc), they sent me to set.  I was basically a lamb going to slaughter and it was probably one of the most frightening experiences in my life. What do you touch? What don’t you touch? Are those dirty men with their guts hanging out over their tool belts actually smoking cigarettes in the fumes of the generator?  I made it through the day, only getting yelled at once. The biggest lesson on your first day is don’t touch ANYTHING without being told to do so by your immediate supervisor (the A.D.).

2) Dusty the P.A.

With one commercial under my belt, the set me loose with a little more responsibility because I hadn’t burnt anything down yet. We had an oddly late call to the beach where we lugged a million containers (I counted) to a beach. When 6 pm rolled around, I asked why we weren’t shooting. “Oh, no, honey, this is just the gear set up. See you at 4:30 a.m. tomorrow. ” So, basically, it took 8 hours to move everything the set needs to one location when normally it takes 2.

The next day I reported for duty and the A.D. handed me a large, new, paint brush. He said my only job of the day was to keep the actors clean. Clean? “We’re on the beach so they’ll get sandy, so be ready. ”  Okie dokie, sir.  Green as the day was not,  I went to craft service and ate breakfast, armed with my paint brush, awaiting my destiny.

Once the set and crew were ready, the actors were walked on and I’m faced with three well built actors, 2 women and 1 very very very very cut gentleman.

I spent the next 12 hours brushing sand off of glutes, thighs, and six packs.  And instead of being called by my name, they cooed for “Dusty”.

Best day ever.

3) Dusty the P.A. and roundabout hero of the homeless

During the same commercial, somewhere near 5 o’ clock in the evening, craft service was asked to start packing up the mid-day snack (hot dogs and burgers).  While this was going on, a homeless man had walked through the set, eyeing the tent where other P.A.s were packing up and grips were eating. There must have been 20 hot dogs left even with the crew completely stuffed, and so, innocent me, I put together a meal for the poor guy.

Not five minutes after this moment, the A.D. is screaming down at me about not encouraging the hobos because they’ll come back in droves. In my head I’m spitting in his face, thinking, fuck, it’s 5 o’clock, we’re not coming back, what is your problem. Scream any louder and you’re going to have a heart attack.

Once the vocal flagellation was complete, he walked away to finish work.  I went right back to craft services and packaged up more hot dogs for the homeless guy and handed all of them to him .

The grips near craft service gave me a standing O.

Fuck that A.D.

4) Lamborghini

All I remember about this day was an unbreakable pair of glasses as the focus of the commercial and the hottest car you’ve ever seen. Dusty to the rescue! I spent the entire day removing finger prints and you know EVERYONE had to touch this car.

5) Upgrade

After an unending amount of  golf and workout infomercials which includes my failed break into show business as a testimonial actor (the commercial never aired), I was told they needed a wardrobe supervisor for an ABC internal industrial commercial. What, no P.A. position? I’m being promoted?  HOTCHA!

The position was really not much more different than what I did as a P.A., they just wanted someone voting on which outfit each ‘cast member’ would wear. No stripes, no white, that was my only order.  But at least my resume was upgraded by the job. I was finally able to work in Hollywood at that point, and nailed my first film as an on-set dresser without an interview.

 

 

What do all of these memories have to do with screenwriting?  Every commercial I did, and every film I worked on, no matter what I was doing, I was a part of the process. I learned how to make films and by knowing how to make them, you can write them more effectively.

You’re sorely missing out if you don’t try being a P.A. at least once.  Some writers may disagree with me, but because they haven’t done it, they can’t see the light that shines above you while you’re writing. It really does add to the experience.

Break a leg, folks.

Love,

Dusty.

 

 

 

Posted on

Writing at Home can Make Jane a Dull Dull Girl.

Stuck in a rut?
Ideas lodged in the mud with the coffee maker you hurdled over the balcony last week because it wouldn’t work any longer?

Get your ass outside.

I’ve joined a production to help me in my quest to find inspiration.

It’s good to be a part of The Haircut, and you can be too. They’re still looking for contributions and you can be a part of history.

The Haircut is a short written by Julia Cox, a film and television writer and graduate of USC’s MFA Screenwriting program.

The Hair Cut is about the first women to dare enter a military school like West Point Academy and the production has already been awarded a IMPACT FIRST FILMS $5K GRANT .

It will be exciting to get to work with talented people again and spread my creative wings at the same time. Win win.

Posted on

Wanted: 2D Animator seeking story.

I’ve decided to go forth and produce/direct a short that was relinquished back to me from a busy production company that bought it but couldn’t schedule in a time to film my little baby. I now feel this short will benefit greatly as an animated piece rather than shot due to complications like finding a highly trained animal on a tiny budget.

It’s a romance comedy, so I envision a soft pencil sketch (in color) animation, similar to Bill Plympton but maybe even “sketchier” or “softer” if that’s a more appropriate.

I’m currently seeking stills from other films to illustrate what’s in my head in terms of style.

So if you’re a 2D animation artist interested in joining forces with me, we can discuss how we’ll get paid.

We can either work our asses off for free and split any income/awards derived from it’s sale or perhaps create a kickstarter. Note: after much thought, I don’t have the heart to ask anyone to work for free, so I’m already planning a kickstarter campaign with a low but comparable budget in mind.

I’m willing to put in 110% of my passion and time, so if you are too, hit me up with a demo reel or resume.

This film has promise and it’s family friendly, so it knows no bounds.

Title: Middle Ground

Length: 6 pages.

Tagline:  When Robert and Brenda met, they thought they had nothing in common…  They were wrong.

Synopsis: A stray dog interrupts the comings and goings of  a chubby man out for a burger and a health conscious woman attending a yoga class. When the animal is injured, they find a middle ground between their differences and come together to save him from certain death.

Notes: The film relies heavily on visual communication, and limited dialog.  Approximately six minutes long.

Previous Reader comments :

“I think this is really cute…” Adryenn, 21st Century Pictures Group

“That was really nice. A great read.”  Richard, Actor

“(This) had the sensibility of and read very much like Pixar’s shorts.” Brian Alexander – Artfire Films

Posted on

All the Pretty People

No.

This post goes out to all employers, both in showbiz and outside of it.

You come off as a holy-rolling twat cake when you ask nay, require an applicant to submit a photograph for a job that doesn’t need a special ‘look’ or ‘appearance’ to get the job. I’m not talking about jobs like actor, model, etc, where the look of a person is a visually integral part of the product, even though I still have concerns over that ball of razor blades.

I place anyone (or any company) that requires a photograph with an application somewhere between ax murder and pedophile.  Actually,  as far as that scale is concerned, I’d rather converse with a pedophile for the research perks that would provide me as a writer. You on the other hand, I’d rather work in a factory chopping up baby animals than waste my time applying to your company for a job that requires I look a certain way rather than perform my job with the skill set I have so painstakingly cultivated.

When you ask for a photograph with an application you are:

  • NOT Professional – A dead giveaway to REAL professionals interested in becoming a part of your company or team). No one wants to work for someone who has NO CLUE what they’re doing.
  • Breaking Laws – The EEOC says it is ILLEGAL to ask a prospective employee for a picture or anything before the job is formally offered.
  • It appears as discriminatory. Why do you want to look like an uneducated bigot when trying to build a team that will raise your product from an idea to fruition?

So employers, producers, directors of Craigslist and the Los Angeles Table (names politely but not deservedly withheld): STOP.

Stop asking for photographs when asking for applications.  I will fight for the rest of my life while this law is in place to bury your stupidity with requests like this because there’s no room in this world for shallowness. I don’t care if this is Los Angeles where ugly people are arrested for fashion mishaps, or plain Jane, Arkansas. There’s just no room for you here.

The EEOC guidelines:

Taken from the EEOC (U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) 

Pre-Employment Inquiries (General)

As a general rule, the information obtained and requested through the pre-employment process should be limited to those essential for determining if a person is qualified for the job; whereas, information regarding race, sex, national origin, age, and religion are irrelevant in such determinations.

Employers are explicitly prohibited from making pre-employment inquiries about disability.

Although state and federal equal opportunity laws do not clearly forbid employers from making pre-employment inquiries that relate to, or disproportionately screen out members based on race, color, sex, national origin, religion, or age, such inquiries may be used as evidence of an employer’s intent to discriminate unless the questions asked can be justified by some business purpose.

Therefore, inquiries about organizations, clubs, societies, and lodges of which an applicant may be a member or any other questions, which may indicate the applicant’s race, sex, national origin, disability status, age, religion, color or ancestry if answered, should generally be avoided.

Similarly, employers should not ask for a photograph of an applicant. If needed for identification purposes, a photograph may be obtained after an offer of employment is made and accepted.

I recently wrote a member of a networking group why they required a photograph with the application for a job as a Script Supervisor.

Their twat cake vacant reply was:  “Because I asked for one.”

Don’t be this person.

Get off your arse and interview people like adults instead of petulant junior-high cheerleaders chittering behind the Gator-ade dispenser.

——————

4.10.13 In a lovely turn of events, the moderator of  The Table has now banned submissions requiring photographs because it promotes a discriminatory atmosphere. I bow to you, sir and thank you.

4.10.13 Mike Bonomo, a fellow filmmaker/friend I’ve had the pleasure of  discussing this topic with, had this to say about the subject.

Posted on

The Demise of WriteSafe.Com?

write safe logo

WriteSafe.Com is was a repository for writers to upload their scripts, stories and other writing related materials with a goal to time stamp them for intellectual property protection.  It’s not legally very powerful from the standpoint of a copyright or even a Writer’s Guild registration, but it did serve as a way to protect one’s work if one was budgetary conscious.

You may recognize the domain/service  if you’ve ever submitted the short to Inktip.com‘s short’s division. I have several shorts online with Inktip.com in which Writesafe.com is used to validate ownership because it’s a pain in the wallet to register shorts with the WGA or copyright office.

This week I noticed the domain had expired in February which leads me to believe:

  • a) someone isn’t at the wheel and forgot to renew the domain (tsk tsk tsk)
  • b) the site is closed down for good

I’m leaning towards answer “a” because even if you were closing down a business, you’d create a press release, inform users of it’s impending closure, and renew the domain with a simple holder page for a year so that everyone knows what is going on with respect to shutting down the service.  Right?

There’s nothing on the internet I can find about the demise of this service, so it leads me to believe that the domain is simply expired.  Simple is really the wrong word to use, if you weren’t already familiar with how domain registration works, let me give you a quick lesson in how important it is to renew them in a timely manner.

When you register a domain, most if not all registrars will remind you 6 months, 1 month, and then weekly that your domain is about to expire. Many people use their ISP email addresses when they buy the domain, this is a HUGE mistake. Why? Because a year from now your ISP could either change names or you could change services. Once that happens, all reminders are useless because they bounce back to the registrar. You lolligag about your life not realizing that a shit-storm is about to befall you.

Most registrars give you a day or two to catch your mistake and renew a domain, and lucky you if that happens. After that point, you might as well say goodbye to your domain, your domain email, your hard earned google placements, everything… ESPECIALLY if your site garners any significant traffic.  After your domain is expired it enters “Domain Jail” where You the Owner and Joe Schmo Internet Squatter cannot touch the domain.  Well, that isn’t true. The owner of the domain can retrieve and renew the domain name but for an exorbitant hostage like fee around $80.00 – $150.00.

If you refuse to pay the Registrar (it’s actually ICANN holding them hostage) the high price, you have to wait 90 days before you can attempt to purchase your domain again at normal rates.

If you have a site with no traffic, this is always the best course of action because it’s rare a squatter will snap up a domain (I’ve had several clients use this method successfully). But if you have a decent domain name or good traffic, you pretty much have to mark 90 days from your expiration date down to the month, day, hour, and second to make sure you purchase it before a squatter does, and even then if they used a back order service, I’m not sure you’d get your domain back. A back order service may trump any tries at re-purchasing your domain.

The TL;DR message to all of this is: ALWAYS KNOW WHEN YOUR DOMAIN EXPIRES AND RENEW IT IN A TIMELY MANNER.

(If anyone knows what happened to the site, chime in, I’d like to know. I really enjoyed the service.)

 

 

Posted on

The Polishing of a Turd

Turdly.

Over a year ago I helped make a short film that I wrote as a favor to a film student.  My involvement was more than I had planned but ironically left me with little input.  And as it should be, right? The writer should stand back and watch the magic, not make it.  HAH!

Days before the shoot I found myself hastily casting, catering, propping,  and costuming the film because no one else was going to do it and my words were on the line. I knew I was saving a sinking boat and I resented it because I only wanted to be the writer.

Within an hour of arriving at our first/only shooting day, I discovered the photographer wasn’t going to use a clapper to match sound (a nightmare later in the editing room, hell they rarely even said “rolling”). With many issues to follow, it was at that moment I knew my boat and my dream of seeing my first bit of writing on “celluloid” crack. I kept my sadness firmly in check and plodded through the rest of the day trying to make it work, because that’s what a professional does.

This past year, with the help of my editor Devin Watson, I’ve been working slowly and in tandem to polish the biggest turd ever made. And it’s not even my turd, well the ‘funny when I wrote it’ script is still mine, but it’s not even “my project”. It’s this amalgamous stink pile now and I include my script in that globby mess because it’s not the story that was in my head anymore.

I loathe it now, every incarnation of it that digitally mushes its way through the editing process. Every lousy fucking second is torture and I’m reminded of feeling used. –With no bearing on my editor, mind you, his amazing work has taken this turd and made it into a shiny but brown marble.

But a turd is still a turd.

Toss it out, stop working on it, give it up because it won’t go anywhere and serves no purpose.  Hell No.

And you know why I say no?  A film is a story and a story must be told or it dies.

So this fecal three minute monstrosity, as shiny and as good as it can be will finally be done in the next couple of weeks and maybe,  just maybe, I’ll place it here for an arm punch and a laugh.

Because: I finish things….and the first thing you make is always crap anyway, right?

That’s all I wanted to say.

I finish shit.

 

Posted on

Business

Don’t do any business via texting on your cellphone.

Just don’t, trust me.

The opportunity for typos and errors is almost a given in any contract related negotiation via cellphone.

You have been warned.

 

 

Posted on

Characters everywhere.

Everyone around you is a potential muse or potential character base. This post is mainly for myself, but enjoy it none the less.

While on the surface, tonight’s future memory may seem mundane, but I will remember the fun we had as if it were a life or death situation action movie and not the more realistic  future of intestinal gas.

Tonight, under the secret guise of a trip to the drug store,  I took a friend who is allergic to milk, gluten AND soy  just so they could get a taste of delectable junk food all while the significant other who would have chided them, was unaware. You must understand, that with those dietary restrictions, even a piece of bread will be viewed with the same hungry eyes as a slice of the best NY style cheesecake served at the top of the Empire State Building (they do that, right?)

We schemed, we lied, and then we drove to McDonalds.

Do I feel guilty being a part of this gastronomical adventure? Partially. But it was a bonding moment with someone who will undoubtedly end up as a character in one of my projects.

And as we finally arrived home, several chicken nuggets remained uneaten in the box, so to avoid detection, he dumped the remaining three nuggets into his jacket pocket  for later consumption while tossing the box into the dumpster. I hope the dog doesn’t catch on to his treasure, that could get ugly.

Just call me Bond, Junk Food Bond.

 

 

 

 

Posted on

2013 – We made it.

January always brings me a new start, and a fresh beginning full of opportunities to completely screw things up. But maybe, just maybe I’ve stumbled upon a good thing this year.

In December I interviewed with a small production company in Los Angeles that is seeking new writers to develop for several ideas they have in their collective think tank.  I received an internship out of the interview which hasn’t officially begun yet, but we’re already working together on a project that will hopefully be filmed this summer.

I can’t talk about it for legal reasons, but I’m excited to work with this company as the people who are at the top are a joy to work with on a creative and business level.

I’ll give out more details as the project moves along and permissions are set to speak about it.

Los Angeles is still chugging along, I haven’t tired of it yet, but I can say, if you intend to come out here during a big holiday (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, etc), you’ll find every tourist destination you want to visit over crowded and unpleasant to visit. If crowds aren’t a big deal to you, consider the subway because parking is horrible this time of year.

The only upside of this holiday season I’ve experienced has been my apartment. The loud neighbors to the East are out of town and the apartment to the West is empty. The peace and quiet around here has been dreamy for a writer like myself. I have one more week of peace left to crank out some good work before they return.

Also, my short film should be pretty much done by now. The vacation put a hold on the final bits so I have to contact the editor to see what’s up in that area of my life.

Did you make any resolutions for 2013?

I personally hate them because they set you up to fail, so this year, I’m really only going to go out of my way to stay positive.  As a screenwriter, I feel a lot like a salmon, fishing my way against thousands of other equally strong fish to make it to the breeding ground.  I only hope the metaphor diverges when I reach the pool and I don’t die after “making it”.

That would suck.